Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Last night my dreams and thoughts captured me unwillingly. Like a calf running from the lasso, so was I charging pointlessly away from my capture. The noose slipped around my legs and I was dragged away by memories, fears, anxiety, and pain. They rejoiced in their findings and relentlessly surrounded me gloating over my struggle. I awoke repeatedly trying to distinguish reality from the mist. Yet in fact, the mist covered my bed and room until all I saw was floating in an eerie subconsciousness. I fought with my heart. A battle leaving me exhausted even after I woke this morning. It was war. The past and the present line up on the battle ground of my soul. Each side looks fierce and ready to die for their cause. The battle cries wail into the dark sky. Thunder splits across the mountains. Small beads of sweat appear on the warriors faces. It will be a cataclysmic destruction. I tried to stop it arise in my soul. I tossed and turned hoping to shake the inevitable from my mind. How can one be tired that sleeps? Approaching daylight shook slavery. The war dissipated into a shadow that follows me waiting patiently until all shadows join each other at dusk. These are the wars of those who lose someone they love. Always susceptible to inner battle and waiting for the day when these unwilling captures of the mind will be no more.