Has it really been that long since I've posted? I barely even know what day it is.
We got to talk with our BM yesterday and she seems ok. She is still in pain and at a 2 cm. She has been contracting sporadically and just waiting for labor to start again since taking those meds. I really hope Elora is here for Christmas. But that is 5 days away and it seem like it might not happen. We knew she was not due until January, but when we found out in November about the mucus plug and then dilation, we all were fooled! I just can't wait to see her and bring her home and then sit there and be like "Whooo! What do we do now?" Just kidding. I am sure we wont take our eyes off of her for at least a week. We have been blessed with so much. Casja sent a swing for Elora and adorable clothes for later, Angela's friend, Jessica, came by with tons of goodies, even a bassinet, and my friend Amanda dropped off tons of clothes and shoes. I feel so provided for. Elora is even on the verge of having too much! I KNOW...and she is not even here yet.
There has also been some hardship for us in the last couple of days. Our expected no-interest adoption loan fell through and then I had a terrible experience with someone who told me they were not going to donate any money to us because Elora was not African-American. You can only imagine my surprise when I was told that! I wish I could go into detail, but it is almost not even worth it. Sometimes we try so hard to correct something we have done in the past that we don't even see the way that we can honor God right in front of us. My daughter is not even born, yet was already discriminated against. And the thing about it is that we were open to any race and prayed about every situation to be considered for and this BM chose us. Elora's race is none of any one's business at this point. She should be loved for who she is. It just really shot me down to hear someone say something like that who asked months ago to let them know where they could donate to to get a tax write-off. And this all happened on the actual day we found out about not having the loan. Yikes!
But Jehovah Jireh. God Provides.
Elora's name means "God's gives the crown of Victory." And I believe she is just that. I have had friends surround me today and give me hugs and pray with me. They have seen my face worried and anxious and I am blessed to have them in my life to stick by me even when I feel so worried. Tighe even brought me a piece of chocolate cake! See...I AM blessed! (Don't tell Bryan, I didn't save him any!)
All in all, I am so happy I have God in my life. I rather seek Him like I did today then have all the security in money in the world. I believe He is True and Mighty and that He has a plan and will bless us. This is my battle, that even so I would trust and believe.