Tuesday, March 31, 2009


God has given me so many beautiful opportunities to love children. And He has given me amazing friends that let me love their children and see them grow in the Lord. We have been trying weekly to get together with Tighe and Angela and all the kids to do some sort of art project. We painted last week and all the kids piled together and took a photo. Angela was super fast with the camera! That took talent to catch all of them together. Maybe the Lord will give Bryan and I this many children some day! I don't think Bryan will mind! LOL! Praise God for a generation we will cover in prayer!

Claiming Freedom

When you've had a bad day, satan tries to convince you to be guilty about your actions for weeks. he reminds you what a failure you are. How unhelpable you have become, that you are never going to change, so why even try. he lies that you are obligated to feel responsible and upset about what you did, what you said, or what you thought so much that you never get beyond feeling ashamed. he offers no resolution, just blame, scorn, and condemnation. "If you loved God and were the Christian you think you are, you never would have done that," he says. It feels weird to wake up and have peace and forgiveness, a slate completely wiped away. It feels wrong, because satan wants us to give up and not claim the freedom Christ has given us. If we confess, ask for forgiveness, God DOES give us a new beginning. And you want to know the greatest thing about all of this? He loves you so much He would do it everyday if He had to.

Monday, March 30, 2009


I love overalls. Jase looks so cute in them!

Please continue to pray for him and our family. That no matter what happens to him as far as staying with us permanently, that he will know Jesus in his life. I can tell you he needs prayer warriors not just for him in the now, but for his future. Pray for peace . Pray that although he has had a very tough life, that he would surrender this to Jesus. Pray he will stand for truth and justice. Pray his innocence would be restored and that the things he has gone through would disappear at the foot of Jesus. This means a lot to us and especially to Jase. Thank you.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Who Do I Want To Be?

Harmony, Peace, Love, Joy, Laughter, Warmth, Understanding, Comfort, Trust, Loyalty, Faithfulness, Truth, Justice, Confidence, Fulfillment, Goodness, Honor, Purity, Life, Humble, Fair, Innocent, Moral, Light, Thankful, Believes, Holy, Mends, Self-Control, Perseveres, Provider, Responsible, Thoughtful, Calm, Warrior, Fun, Wise, Giver, Hopeful, Heaven, Redeemed, Secure, Confessing, Forgives, Apologizes

Hate, Suspicion, Selfishness, Pride, Control, Power, Lust, Anger, Justification, Pleasure, Fear, Deceitful, Murderer, Money, Possessions, Perverted, Lying, Cheating, Neglect, Abuse, Destroyer, Scandalous, Lazy, Justifies, Robber, Greedy, Doubt, Sinful, Uncontrolled, Oblivious, Voluntarily Naive, Ignores, Arrogant, Conceited, Malicious, Cruel, High-Strung, Blames, Important, Taker, Glory-Seeking, Fault, Condemning, Insecure, Guilty, Immoral, Dark, Unsatisfied, Impulsive

I believe most people wont even read all these words I typed but I challenge you to take a moment and do it. I am certain the Lord will have one word stand out to you that He has given to you in newness.

The other night I sat in my room and thought of all the words I want to be in Christ and began to write them in my journal. Then I drew a line and wrote characteristics that are not only empty, but ones that oppositely ruin our lives. They are spirits of death and destruction .They are words we need to remind ourselves not to be. When we see who Christ makes us (top list), we can sigh and breath easy, because even though we have been those bad things, Jesus has taken them away and given us new words to describe us, even if we will only perfectly be them one day with Jesus in heaven, He says He is in us and therefore we ARE these things already! I would never be able to be those things purely without Jesus. And I DON'T want to be the words that do not give Jesus honor and true fulfillment, but it does not come without a conscience effort, I have to learn and chose to be the top list and satan will do everything in his power to remind me and make me feel guilty that I mess up. It is all a part of our spiritual battle, and one that goes on for our hearts and souls.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

If Jase Were a Groundhog

If Jase were a groundhog, I am afraid we would have an eternal winter. Not only did this child not want to see his shadow, he was completely and utterly terrified of it. We went for a walk today and came to an empty basketball court that was outside. I noticed all of our shadows, mine, Jase's, and Gracey's and thought I would point them out to Jase. I took my shadow and patted Jase's shadow and he kind of stared at it uncertain. He realized his shadow was attached to him and moved whenever he did and he tried to run away from it and would look to see if it was still there. Then he went into an all out scare. "What is this thing that is following me?" I had to keep myself from laughing at the poor thing. I eventually had to bring him to where he couldn't see his shadow anymore. I giggled the whole way to the car. I wanted to explain to him everyone had one and it was the sun, but because of how scared he became I wasn't able to help him understand. He really was scared.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Another Day

The weather has been very nice and we love to spend time outside. We even had Isaiah over! (Which by the way he seems to be doing well.) We went to the park and Bryan was being silly as you can see from the photos. Please pray for Jase and our family. There has been a lot going on and we need to keep focus on God's Love and Peace.

Sunday, March 22, 2009


We are so blessed to have wonderful friends. We were able to play and visit with Jennifer and her family yesterday. We had yummy hamburgers and the kids played. Jennifer even asked if Gracey could come, so I packed up the car and off we went. Bryan had to work, so he wasn't there, but we brought him a plate of food afterwards. Of course, no event is really complete without photos! Don't the kids look like they could be related!?

What a cute couple!!! Click here to visit Jennifer's blog.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

1 Mile

Bryan and Jase drink their healthy fruit smoothies at breakfast! How cute!

Yesterday Bryan and I ran 1 mile! Can you believe it? I haven't run 1 mile since 2002 before I got sick. We gathered up all our little ones and decided to eat a healthy breakfast and run around the ACU campus. We stretched before and walked a little to start out. Bryan had a great idea of how to take Jase and Gracey along...check out these photo's!

The boys at the starting line!
Family walk! We can do it!!!

Gracey is REALLY Super-Weenie-ly excited! She actually enjoyed the ride and sniffed the entire time!

I am so surprised the Lord gave me enough strength to accomplish this run. When I was attending ACU, I used to run at least 3 times a week around the entire campus. But with my illness and chemotherapy treatments behind me, I still struggle with weakness in my muscles as well as pain. I have been trying to stretch and exercise my body as much as possible, but the trick is to exercise, but not stress my body to where I will not be able to function because of pain. It is a very tricky situation that is hard to describe if you haven't experienced it. But when I woke up yesterday morning, I had a FULL tank and was able to get ready and run! It may seem like a trivial thing to be excited about, but I feel like the Lord is giving me more healing as the months go by. Jase has been a part of this as he has challenged me physically to keep going without necessarily noticing that I am exerting a lot of energy and strength.

Today I am feeling the results of pushing my body. My legs feel very sore. But it was worth it. Slowly, I am going to keep pressing towards honoring God with my physical healing. I want it and I will seek it and take steps, even if small ones to keep going. It has literally taken this long for me to get this much energy back from the chemo. I once spoke with a lady about it and she told me that she has not ever had the same amount of energy she had before she had treatments and it had been over 10 years. So I know that although it has been 2.5 years since my last treatment, that it takes even longer than the amount that you went through the treatment to really get any where near back to the amount of energy and muscle that once was there. And even at that, I may never have the energy I once did. But I will take what I have now and smile! I know how it is to not even be able to get out of a bed, or have to walk with a walker, or be walking and not be able to make it back. God has brought me a long way and I am thankful.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Pedi Paws

Today I finally bought a Pedi Paws and I can tell you that it WORKS! I researched it a little a while ago and found that people really recommended it. I have been grooming and cutting Gracey's nails and more than once I accidentally cut the quick and made her bleed. I hate guessing where to cut and then hurting her by accident. Then I would have to get the nail file out and smooth them. Since she does therapy at the hospital she has to have her nails cut and filed so she can sit on people's and stuff. But today my whole world changed! I took Gracey and we tested out our new best friend! And it worked very well. Her nails look great, there was no worry about the device hurting Gracey, and her nails are smooth and trimmed. This really just made my life a lot easier. I told Bryan I feel like when they probably first created an oven and didn't have to cook for hours on a iron stove! I really feel like it is a great product and that has cut my time for grooming from 45 minutes to like 5 minutes!!!

Monday, March 16, 2009


Jase got another haircut today by Daddy and he looks SO handsome I just HAD to dance with him! Look at that face! What a cutie!

Thursday, March 12, 2009


I floated above a misty marble floor of white
Sparkles glistened below my feet suggesting a direction to be followed
I peaked through gates of pearls whose muffled rainbow demanded notice
Before I knew I heard a Voice
"Who are you approaching this throne?" He spoke.
"Forgive." I said.
Flushed I knelt upon the pure silk surface
"I felt guided here amongst dancing dots of light."
"Well then child," He said, "You shall be Mine."
And so one moment felt like a thousand years to approach His throne, and His touch was what I longed for, it is what I needed.
And He lay His forgiveness, love, and compassion on my shaking shoulders
In that I would stand again
But this time stronger

A Great Commercial

I love this commerical so much I just had to post it.

For the Baier's

This song by Mark Schultz really seems to be the perfect song for the Baier family right now. Listen to the words...they are a powerful cry for God to step in. They are all still in Ft. Worth and Isaiah is very sick still and the doctors are trying to find a treatment for the infection that wont cause him to get more sick. They are waiting on results from the specialists as well. Keep them in your prayers.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Isaiah's Going to Cooks

Isaiah, my neighbors son, is being transported to Cooks in Ft. Worth as we speak. He was released on Sunday while nurses came to his house to administer medicine through his port twice a day for his meningitis. It was a blessing to be at home even though he was still very sick. Last night he became really sick again and today they brought him into the ER and just a little while ago the doctors and his family made the decision to go ahead and go to Cooks to try and find out what is going on. Please pray for the Baier family. They are some of the most precious people on this earth. I can't even imagine how hard this must be.

The Zoo

Yesterday was Bryan's last day off before going back to work after a long needed weekend to recover and we decided to go to the Zoo. The Zoo here is not that impressive, but we still got to see animals like the lion, giraffe, zebra, and monkey's. We also got to wear the special shirts we made the other day on Jase's one month celebration of being a part of our family. My favorite part is Gracey's little paw print! Isn't it the cutest ever? We still do not know what God has planned as far as Jase remaining with us, but we pray everyday that Jesus will take care of Jase's future and that Jase will know Jesus personally as his Savior someday.

Monday, March 09, 2009


Isaiah is home and still receiving treatments twice a day for his meningitis through a central line over his heart. Jase and I went and visited yesterday and it was so great to see him playing and smiling even though he clearly was still in some pain. Please keep him and his family, Greg, Tighe, and sister Lily, in your prayers. Isaiah will undergo some tests this week in Ft. Worth to try and determine why he keeps getting ill. I firmly believe God has MAJOR plans for this little boy, so we pray that he will get the help he needs to get better and grow up to be a testament to God's amazing power and love! (The photo above was taken by his Mom while in the hospital this past weekend.)

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Movie Night

Last night we rented Beverly Hills Chihuahua. It was really cute. Gracey got all ready to watch it with us and really enjoyed the movie as you can tell. One of the funniest parts was when the big dust storm came when they were in the desert. I laughed very hard. It was a silly movie, but I knew I had to watch it because Gracey demanded it. I can't deny her, right? LOL!

Saturday, March 07, 2009

My New Hot Husband

Today Bryan finally had an eye appointment. He has been needing an examine for a while, but because of insurance and denial, we waited. His vision is not very bad, but the glasses definitely make a difference in how he can see. He was SO cute on the way home as he noted how everything looked so clear. He kept asking me to look at signs, read them, and then told me he could read them too. It amazing how vision can worsen and you may not notice how bad it is until you actually can see clearly again. I got glasses when I was in 5 th grade! Then in 8 th grade I got contacts. I think Bryan looks like the LensCrafter Model Man. He looks very professional and wise.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Sick, Sick, and more Sick

I think everyone just needs to quarantine themselves for a while. Bryan is very sick and spent most of yesterday hooked up to an IV. He got two pain shots, and then 4 prescriptions. He slept all the rest of the day at home, and the entire day today besides eating. I have never seen him this sick. He has the flu, bronchitis, and was so severely dehydrated that it appeared in his blood work and they could barely find a vein functioning enough to get the IV in. Bryan is such a hard worker and has not been feeling well since Jase and I were sick with strep, but he kept going and going and now, his body is just too tired. He is not the type that will stay in bed and not do anything, but he is listening to me and taking it easy. I really hate that he is so uncomfortable and weak.

So needless to say, I have had sole Jase duty these past couple of days. Bryan needed lots of rest and our house is not that big to where Jase's rambunctiousness would not affect Bryan's ability to relax, so I took him out most of yesterday and today. It has been very hot as well, and my Lupus does not do well with heat and sun exposure, so I feel very weak as well and just so tired. I don't think I have what Bryan has because Jase and I took those antibiotics. I think the Lord protected us. But Jase was acting a little not himself today. He took a majorly long nap and then got tired an hour before his bed time. I hope he doesn't wake with fever. If so, I will take him immediately to the doctor.

Also, my sweet neighbor Tighe's little boy is hospitalized at Hendrick with his 3rd attack from pneumococcal meningitis within one year. His first attack was just a year ago. He was so advanced in the attack that he was life-flighted to Cooks Children's Hospital in Ft. Worth. He was pretty much comatose for days and then slowly he recovered and they wondered what brain function was damaged. It turned out that his hearing was what was damaged, but did not discover that until after many scary days of hoping Isaiah would wake up and wonder what he would be like. He lost most of his hearing ability from the attacks of the disease, but was able to qualify for a cochlear implant. He has been very susceptible to being sick since then. He had a mild case just a short time ago and now he has been diagnosed with it again. They are trying to find out why this keeps reoccurring. Please pray for Isaiah. God has a plan for his life and I wish it didn't involve this pain and disease. He has joy in his little heart and has grown up right in front of me practically. Please pray for Tighe and her husband, Greg. Tighe is one of the most sweetest people you could ever meet. She is real, kind, and extremely compassionate. She loves the Lord and wants to honor Him through everything, even the struggles that don't make sense. Pray for strength. Pray for Greg as he watches the worry on Tighe's heart for their son. Pray that Greg will point to God for their family. Pray he allows himself to take a rest and not feel guilty (part of the Bryan-syndrome!). I just want to take all this pain and worry away from them. I want to give them reasons and answers and a way to feel like that they can do something to prevent these attacks. All of their friends and family are very worried and feel so helpless. We want them to know how special they are to us.

My sister's two girls are really sick to. Ilona, the older girl, has pneumonia. Bella has a double ear infection that looked so bad, she will have to go back next week to make sure there was no permanent damage to her ear. Again I feel so helpless. I hate when little children hurt. And I also know how taxing it is on the parent who watches them struggle, throw-up, wake up moaning and delirious because of fever. It is hard on parents too. And you don't want them to get you sick, or the one child getting the other one sick from what they have.

I hate being sick because for me it take a lot longer to regain my strength after. It just seems it is the "season" to be sick. Yuck!

I think I might quaruntine my family in our house a while or...and don't laugh!!!!! DON"T DO IT!!!!! I brought a can of lysol and disinfecting wipes to the mall play area the other day so Jase could play and me not worry he would get sick. I kind of laughed at myself, but I needed a place for him to play inside out of the heat and that was the only good place. I thought I was a genious! Me holding my lysol can following Jase around with wipes! Can't you just see me?

When it comes down to it, every day is a new beginning. We have opportunity to appreciate, grow, and learn something about Love. The love that comes from God to show us how amazing He is and How much He cares, and then love that propels us to grow. A love that captures our minds so much so that we cannot pass by an opportunity. Our bodies are not created to live forever. Because of sin entering the world, our body gets sick in ways it never would if sin didn't appear and man choose it. So over time we see more people getting sick and all we can do as believers and stay strong and use everything we have to honor God and give Glory to His name. The people who do this are those whose commitment to God is working towards solid and from the right place in the heart. Sin does not mean we have done something wrong and we are getting what we deserve as a punishment from God. It is a consequence of sin and everyone of this earth is affected by it.

Lord I pray for Isaiah. That you would go to his heart and show him You are there. Be with Tighe and Greg, and Lily and Tighe's mom who is here helping them right now. Be with Ilona and Isabella and my sister and her husband RJ. Keep them well and protecting. Give RJ and Cyndi strength as RJ leaves for 2 weeks in the Air Force. Be with Angela and he new baby Emora, and the rest of her family as they adjust to this sweet baby girl. Please be with my friend Casja in Ma. Be with her children and give Casja joy Father, pure joy. That is one of her gifts. God protect Jessica and her new marriage to Aaron. Grow them firmly together. Be with my mom and dad. Be with Bryan's mom and his brothers David and Kevin. Be with Bryan's Dad and stepmom Ellen. Bring us to You Father. Bring all of our hearts to you.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

My Beautiful Nieces!

We sent Valintine shirts for our two beautiful nieces this year! And here are the photos! I can't even believe how adorable they are. Isabella is the youngest and she just had her first birthday yesterday! I am waiting for photos from my sister.