Monday, April 26, 2010

Fastest Weenie on Wheels

Found this old photo of Gracey and I couldn't resist posting it again.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Making Sense of Suffering

How do you make sense of suffering? I don’t imply I know, or I have figured it out. This is simple questioning in longing for the Truth. A Truth that goes beyond opinions and easy 5 step cures, words I desire to comfort me further than journaling. I want the real stuff. I want the meat!. I don’t write to have every word perfect, or thought scrutinized and reviewed. I’m writing from my heart, after a walk with the Lord. He speaks with me when I walk. I don’t know why. Maybe it developed because one time He did and now when I go, it is almost in hopes He will show up and walk with me and Teach me. I’ve been thinking about my struggles and pain lately. What is the point of them? Yeah, I know why there is struggle and pain. I know that God is in the midst of it. I know sadness never recovers; it only forces you to go on in a way that you are not able to even hold onto even sorrow. That’s what happens the first time you smile after tragedy, you feel like even a traitor to your own pain. Time is tricky that way. I know there is beauty in pain. I know so many times when people say, “I could never live through that” they really could. You'd be surprised by what people can live through. Try the Holocaust for example. Do I owe God for happiness? What a danger this mindset would be, I must not fall into. Do I blame? I have already. If you haven’t read the book “Till We Have Faces”, read it! I have presented my judgment and trial to God after Natalie died. It took months to where like Orual, I laid my petition against God, tried to gather the facts, and with pain and distress I sought God face to face and in the midst of it, He looked upon me and that in itself was my answer. I know I cannot work myself up to not do or say something in order for things to go ok. I can’t beg enough (Oh, I tried this while Elora was being torn out of my heart), I can’t cry enough, no…tears do not change anything, they just make the eyes puffy. I can’t hate God, for it is not possible to hate what gives me life. No, I cannot forget what has happened in my life and why. I cannot sit here and remember all the bad and not the amazing things God has done from my childhood. Why must I go back to this choice as if I have never thought of it before? If it not for the terrible, I would have never witnessed God’s Love the way I have. I wish it came about another way. But, then again there is great unsatisfaction inside of me with this world and perhaps I would have never understood my contradictions as well as I do now. The only way to make sense of suffering is to know why suffering exists, know who and Whose you are, and run with great determination and not look back. If I look back I see the events of what has happened, I don’t see what God has taught me through them. I see what *atan has meant for destruction, not what God has spoken and where He was and how He has taken that and STILL works it for Love. I see what everyone else see’s in the world, selfishness and greed, and if I too dwell there, then “unfairness” will be my battle, not Truth. I stand on a wire, so thin, so small. If I look down then He will catch me. If I look ahead He will welcome me, and if I cannot go any further, He will walk out there to me and carry me Himself.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Faith will lead you

What an amazing demonstration of God's presence in our world!! I was blessed to watch this video about how a church member found Nadia Bloom and believe it will impact the world for the Lord. I was joyful seeing how the man truly gave all he did and thought to God's Honor and Glory while lifting up the Name of Jesus in ways where no one could edit out the Name of the true "Hero." You can see the skepticism in the reporters, but also the calmness and sincerity of the man who rescued her were.

"Where police and trained rescue workers could not find Nadia in four days of searching, one man, armed with prayer and faith says that God spoke to him and directed his steps until he found Nadia. " He interviews in this segment below and I get chills seeing how he desires to revere God's name. It was an example and testimony to SO many people. Our Amazing God took a humble seeking man and used Him to display His Glory and Love to the whole world.

Therefore we Hope in You, For You are the one who has done all these things.”
Jeremiah 14:22b

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Monday, April 12, 2010

My Little Trumpets

In the quiet of the morning when dawns first light arrives
small little flowers scented with the Maker's blessing
whisper a secret to those who intently listen

It cannot be heard from those who don't believe
it is a soft breeze announcing its message beyond imprisoned roots
springing hope there in turn

"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you."
Luke 12:27

Saturday, April 10, 2010

IBG Reception Photos

My slideshow doesn't seem to be working so I am posting the photos from the reception one by one on this post.

Friday, April 09, 2010

IBG Reception 2010

Hurray! Last night was a great evening! So many people came and I was blessed to talk and visit family, friends, and even some new faces. I received beautiful flowers from my sister and Casja, Richard and Ellen, Diana, and Bryan. Our house smells like a floral shop dashed with vibrant PINK! Who would have guess, huh? Gracey made her appearance of course and by the end of the night, she was full range throughout the gallery, sniffing, looking for someone to pet her, and scrounging for any food. I think she is even more tired than I am right now! We ate at Cypress Street afterwards, it was a wonderful day!

The show will hang through the month of April so if you didn't make it, you still have a chance to see it. Thank you everyone who came! It meant a lot to me.

Sunday, April 04, 2010


Friday, April 02, 2010

Show is Up! & Need Prayers

With the help of Bryan my show went up yesterday after 6 hours of drilling holes, screwing backing, measuring, hanging, leveling, and putting up tags and bio's! We didn't even have time to sit and bask in the glory of what we accomplished because I had a doctor appointment at 4pm and we pulled out of the parking lot at 3:57pm! Phewww! It looks great and I am excited for the reception next Thursday (April 8th). Yet, with all our joy of getting it hung my doctor appointment didn't exactly go the way I wanted. I had been experiencing some intense pain in my left arm and even in my chest and after another episode I called my doctor and they had me in yesterday for an EKG and it came back abnormal. Next week I will be undergoing a Stress Test to see what condition my heart is in. They think Lupus may be the culprit here, but I remain positive and ask for prayers. Of course what day would they schedule the test on Thursday (my reception day)! I think I will be under enough stress as it is that day! LOL! No, it will be fine.

Specific prayers to agree with me on:

*My heart will be fine and the Lupus will not be affecting it! In Jesus Name!!!!!

*Bryan is starting a new job with an AMAZING company who truly desires to use their success for God's Kingdom, pray for his approaching transition, for strength and favor

*That my show will help people see how Amazing our God is and that it will bring Glory to His Name. The night before we hung the show I prayed over each of the 20 photos. I don't know what a photo looks like that is annointed, but I prayed they would be annointed for God's Glory. I really could care less to sell and make money (although that would be an incredible blessing), I just want God to use what He has given me to bring people to His Love. Many of my new photos are ones that God has given to me as Visions, and gave me the ability to create into the photos. Love is truly the only thing worth living for that matters and is eternal.

I often arrive at a place deep within my soul that no one can ever visit except the Lord.

It is private, untouched, even holy.

Everything else disappears, I see unblemished joy like flowers, arise from Love.

How can someone live two places at once?

I say it is possible!

It really is the only way to live

at all.