Thursday, July 01, 2010

Angel Day

They say one can "wear their heart on their sleeve," and gladly I do for Rachel. Today, 2 years ago we lost our little baby girl (I was over 9 weeks pregnant). I remember how excited we were to see her heart beat! She was strong and tried so hard. I had to endure 2 D&C surgeries and my heart felt so sad by the time I came home from the hospital both times staying 4 nights. It was such a confusing thing to go through. I felt like the Lord was going to do a miracle with this pregnancy. And I realized months later that He did, we got to see her heart beating 2 different times. That in itself was a miracle considering what my body has been through. It is a gift the Lord gave Bryan and I.

Today I think of the "what if's." I can't help it. I cry from remembering everything that happened, but I also rejoice in knowing she is with the Lord, and knowing Who the Lord is to me as my Father.

Blessings sweet baby in Jesus' Name. God strengthen my heart and mind as I seek You to bless us with a child. I want Your timing, so I wait, not with complete patience, but with expectation and wonder.

3 comments:

M said...

Oh Olivia! Crying and praying with you on this day. God Bless!

Kristi said...

I don't really know what to say--just that I understand and I'm sorry. I remember that pain. Much love to you, Olivia.

Angela said...

xoxox, love to you Olivia. I know the hurt lives on, and yet the joy at knowing the miracle, albeit much too short in our liking. I was actually thinking of how I missed my never met nephew today. May God give you your heart's desire Olivia, truly and soon. hugs.