Friday, February 15, 2013


The long summers grass peaked high above the earth’s horizon
And my hands danced upon their prickly ends
I felt alone, yet I knew I was not
And my tears flowed freely that day
And my knees sunk into the earth
I was hidden by a wall of golden grain
And as I watched my tears fall to the ground I cried out to my Father,
“Why? Why must we endure so much?”
And it was at that moment I realized as my tears pooled below
It was only with them, that they reflected above
A mirror into eternity
A reflection to something beyond what I could see, infinity, beauty....heaven
No tear wasted
Every one’s purpose to show something more than what we see on earth
I looked through my tears into the Creator’s Love
And beheld my Father’s arms

***In Memory of Eaton Umberger***

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Friday, February 08, 2013

Saturday, February 02, 2013

Coming Alive

Ahava is coming alive more and more everyday!  She is very talkative and can get super loud and even squeal now.  She is over 12 lbs!  She laughs when she is tickled, especially if you get under her arm pit.  She does not cry a lot, but when she is upset she is not afraid to let you know.  She still loves bath time, but other things are becoming more interesting.  She got an excer-saucer and seems to be getting the hang of it.  Her face was in AWE when she first saw it after Papa put it together!!!!  She loves being in the Baby Bjorne if she is facing out to see the world.  She will lift her legs straight up in the air when she is on her back. We are trying to get her interested in her toes.  Tummy time is still a struggle, however the other day at her Auntie Vicki's we set her on her tummy on the HUGE bed and she was eye level with us and even smiled and stretched out those muscles very well.  Then she got upset and it was over!

We traveled to Fort Worth to see the Gastrointestinal Doctor this week.  I was hoping for a quick answer and solution, but we came away with them wanting more tests and one of them I am not too sure about yet.  They will test her for a milk allergy and we are waiting for the result from this.  If this is the culprit, then the solution is easy, we switch fortifiers/formula to one that does not have a cow milk base.  If it is not the issue, then they want to do a procedure where they insert a probe into her stomach opening through the nose and leave it in there for 24 hours to measure the acidity, pressure and any other issues that may be causing her eating difficulties and reflux.  This is NOT what I want to happen and I am praying the Lord will guide us.  We would be able to take her home after the probe was inserted and then come back the next day to get it out. 

However, her eating issues are more stable.  I have not pushed her beyond trying to get her interested in eating more than 3 times during a feed.  If she screams, bucks, or cries after I have given her a break and calmly tried to offer her the bottle 3 times, then I stop.  It has helped.  She has not thrown up her medicine in a while as well, but she still does vomit.  The doctor was pleased with her weight.  She also has been eating her baby food and oatmeal cereal.  Today she finished a HUGE serving again.  We did take a break from it for a while because we were traveling, so I did not know if she would engage and enjoy it, but she did very well and I was so proud of her.  Sweet potatoes are the BEE's KNEEs!!!!

She is doing so well sleeping in her own room.  When we traveled this past week it was very weird having her sleep in the same room with us!  She is a loud little sleeper!!!  I am so glad the Lord gave me peace to make that transition.  She also has been sleeping pretty long!  I cluster feed and dream feed her.  I feed her at 7:30, 9 and then 11pm and she will sleep until about 3am and I feed again and then she sometimes sleeps until 8am!!!!!!  Glory!!!!!!  It is so much better than her getting up at 5 am every morning. 

This photo of her and I to the left was such a sweet moment.  She was laying there smiling at me petting my face.  These moments melt my heart into a thousand little bitty pieces.  I wish I could freeze them forever.