Monday, September 12, 2016


Night time is my all time favorite.  I guess half of it is because I survived the day, and the other is that I get to hear Ahava's heart as we cuddle in bed. She tells me about her day, asks questions and sometimes, like the other night, it can get very deep.  Laying next to me under her covers, she puts her hand on mine, looks at me very sad and says "Mommy I don't want you to go to heaven."  I was a little shocked at how our conversation went from her favorite color and animal to this.  I told her enthusiastically that "I WANT to go to heaven!"  I explained that I am not going to heaven right now, but that eventually, I DO want to go to heaven and I was REALLY excited.  We have talked about heaven and she always seems so amazed!  She then told me that she doesn't want me to go to heaven without her, and honestly this pinged my heart a little bit.  I didn't want Ahava to be thinking about something so sad like me dying, so I thought about what I should say.  I told her that we don't know when we will go to heaven and that only God knows and that if Mommy goes to heaven before you, then you will see me again in heaven and we will live together forever WITH Jesus!!!!  I told her that me being in heaven before her isn't the end and that we should WANT to go to heaven.  I could see Ahava's face in the evening shadow becoming more and more gloomy and concerned.  I started praying in my heart and just felt this weight of sadness.  I wanted to say the right thing and felt like I had done a good job, but there was something more on her heart now.  "Mommy," she said very distraught. I tried to stay calm, "Here we go," I thought and braced myself.  "But, Mommy" she continued, ",....are there...." and she almost couldn't get it out, "...are there spoons in heaven?"  "Well," I said as I relaxed my body, "there has to be.  God said that we are going to have a FEAST in heaven and I can't imagine eating food at a beautiful feast without spoons!"  Ahava's whole demeanor changed!  She SMILED so BIG!  She hugged me as tight as she could, (ouch!), kissed me on the cheek and seemed so so so so relieved.  SO, rest assured, THERE ARE SPOONS IN HEAVEN!

Singing Along

Yesterday was Sunday and Ahava and I spent some time outside now that it isn't immanent death by heat.  She was on a "very important mission" of some sort collecting leaves in a big plastic bucket and I took the opportunity to grab my often too neglected guitar and decided to strum a little outside.  I didn't play anything fancy and I didn't sing, I just wanted to strum and play some chords.  But before I knew it, someone WAS singing along with the music.  A soft red blur shot through our bushes and landed right where I could see him and Mr. Cardinal sang along his worship song with me.  It really was a precious moment and I felt like "all creation" was declaring the glory of God!  He sang beautifully and it made me remember not to forget the little moments of God's beauty in this crazy world.  They are still there, we just have to get quiet and still enough to see them.

Thursday, September 08, 2016

I NeedA Laugh

Ahava's first made up joke:

Q: How do Horsey's fly?
A: Because they're normal

(followed by uncontrollable laughing)

Tuesday, September 06, 2016